I'm Al Snow

07.30.2002

In a given week, I'll watch about 5 hours of wrestling on tv. Granted, I record it all first, so it takes closer to 2 hours once I get past all the commercials and boring matches, but I still try to watch enough to keep up with the story lines. TNN has started showing WWE Confidential on Saturday nights. It's different in that it gives a behind-the-scenes look at many of the wrestlers, many times where they openly talk about how the match results are predetermined, and most of the time the wrestlers break character and are just themselves.

This past week, they went to the home of Al Snow, self described pack rat. Al's got all kinds of stuff in his house, and most of it doesn't make any sense as to why he would have it. Barber chair, jukebox, prosthetic wooden leg, it's all just there, in the house. I was thinking how weird he must really be when the camera panned around and something caught my eye.

There on top of his mantle were action figures.

I have rows of figures atop my bookshelves at home. What a funny coincidence.

Then he was giving a speil about why he collects the odd things he does. And in the background, on the wall, was original comic art. Huh, I've got a wall or two of comic art. Then Al was showing off his comic book collection. It just so happened that the Spider Man he was flipping through for the camera, it was the last Spider Man trade paperback that I bought. Then it hit me: Oh god, I'm Al Snow.

Why Al Snow? Why can't I be cool like The Rock? The Russ has a nice sound. Why can't I be tough like Stone Cold? Wait, everybody's mad at him for leaving, never mind. Why can't I be a big, bad, biker like TheUndertaker? Maybe then I could find a bandana that would fit my head? But no, I'm Al Snow. I'm a loon.

But I should be glad that I'm Al Snow. It could be worse. I could be Raven or Perry Saturn and have to wear dresses (but if I were them, nobody would have the cajones to say anything about it). Or I could be X-Pac, then I would just suck.

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Ode of the Cable Modem

07.29.2002

About 3 weeks ago, I got a call one Saturday morning from my cable company (Charter Communications), where they were offering a special deal to install a cable modem. Living out in the boonies as I do, I had beenwaiting for the cable modem to make its debut in my area. I had given up about a year ago on using a regular modem. My connect speed was usually about 20Kbs, as opposed to the 56K the modem said it could handle. Along the way, I found that part of my problem was living in the boonies. Evidently the number of switching stations you have to go to before reaching a main line will affect your connect speed.

But I digress. I told them I would love to sign up for their cable modem service,especially since the special they were offering was for free installation and the first month was only $1! I told them to come on a Saturday, which the first available Saturday was the 27th, and scheduled it for the morning between 8:00 and 12:00.

Saturday was the 27th.

I ain't got no cable modem.

The call I recieved for the offer came form a regional office .I know this from a previous offer for digital cable from the same company. I had asked then (right before Christmas) about the cable modem, and they had to transfer me to find out if it wa available. I looked on my last bill to see if there was an 800 number for the main office, and it listed only the Athens office. I called and got a recordingof what numbers to press if I was having problems or an interruption in service. Even though I wasn't having any of those problems, I tried one of the numbers and got passed through to leaving a voice mail, which I opted to not do at the time.

This morning I thought I would check the Charter website to see if they had a customer service number. Nope. The have all my local numbers, and an email form to fill out for their customer service (do I want cable spam?). Whatever happened to 800 numbers?

So now I'm trying to decide what to do. Do I call the Athens office? Email the main office? Just forget about the whole thing? The monthly bill has on it the following:
If we are late for a service call, you will recieve $20 off your next bill. If we are late for an installation, you will recieve that installation free.
Well, I was already getting the free installation. I wonder if I can get the 2nd month service free?

So for now, I'm still stuck in the boonies, unconnected to the sweet, digital world. Wow, sounds like I should be grateful I've got indoor plumbing...

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The Magic of Chiropractic

07.24.2002

Sometime this morning, I managed to do something stupid which strained my lower back. Having done this many times, I knew the key was to get whatever had popped out of place back in place before my muscles tightened up too much to where my back muscles were what was holding me out of joint.

Sounds screwy, doesn't it? Let me try again: a lot of times when my back (spine) is out, my back muscles try to compensate by holding everything in place. in the process, the muscles tightenup so much that they keep my spine out of alignment.

The solution? The Spinulator. A padded table with a slot missing where your spine goes. In this slot is a series of rollers, which more than anything give you a little massage alongyour spine. It does me the most good of all the instruments of torture at the chiropractor. It's one of those where my weight is a benefit, because it pushes me down on the rollers, thus applying more pressure the the right areas. After laying down and popping off and on for about 5 minutes, Belinda, my helpful chiropractic assistant, can in in rested her head on my chest (so I knew her years before I started going to the chiropractor, so what!). After about a minute, down at the base ofmy spine, there was a really loud POP as I felt one of my vertebrae slide back into place. Basically, it was orgasmic. I huge relief of pressure, followed by a realization that bone just moved back where it was supposed to.

I felt better all day. In fact, I like to think that lead me to have a really good day, because it's been a fun AND productive day!

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I Wanna Be A Cowboy Baby

07.23.2002

Jerry can atest to my eclectic musical tastes. Lately I've been revisting one of his lesser favorites, that being Kid Rock. I don't know why I like Kid Rock, I guess I'm his niche 33 year old white boy market? The funny part is that listening to him lately has made me miss my old Mustang convertible.

Back in '99, I went with some friend down to Panama City. Actually, we stayed just south of Panama City in Mexico Beach. The thing about Mexico Beach is that there is absolutely nothing there. It's cheaper than Panama City (which is why we were there), and only about a half hour away from Panama City.

Being bored on a Sunday, I decided to put the top down and drive around, if nothing else to find outjust how much of nothing there was in Mexico Beach. At one point, I remember driving along, the ocean not 50 yards away on one side, top down, Kid Rock blaring and me singing along. Ir was kind of ethereal; I could imagine how I must look , driving along like that. But the thing about was, I was really happy right then, just to be driving around like that.

I've known since I got the truck that would eventually get a second car, and it would be a convertible. The thing is, I'm starting to wonder how long I can wait before I have to get one. The only saving grace for me right now is that it's been in the 90's most days - too hot for me to be putting a top down, especially when you figure in our billion percent humidity. But everytime I pass a car lot I keep my eye out for convertibles. The question is will I end up getting another Mustang, or will I hold out and get a BMW 325iC so I can be snooty?

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Ode To The Lunch Menu

07.22.2002

Today I found myself in Decatur, reminiscing a little bit. I had an errand to run (yes, in Decatur) and wound up at an old hang out at lunch time.

Back when I was going to Calhoun, the main person I hung out with most of the time was Blake. I don't know where Blake is now, but back then he was a strange mix of metal head, Birkenstock sandals, and math nerd. Part of how we had became friends was that both of us had signed up for pre-algebra because we were scarred of college match classes, but both of us were well beyond pre-algebra (I think we both had over 100 average for the class. Hey, it was good for the GPA!).

By the time calculus rolled around, Blake and I would take a weekly trip on Monday to Ryan's. Monday was always popcorn shrimp day on the megabar at Ryan's, and I can clean up on some popcorn shrimp.

Today I went back to Ryan's, seeing if I could once again clean up on some popcorn shrimp. The shrimp is still there on Mondays, but my pallete has changed since those days, and it was only 7 years ago. Ok, now that I think about it, 7 years is a pretty decent amount of time for it to kick in that Ryan's shrimp isn't that good. I've gotten a taste of fresh Gulf shrimp since then, so I guess I'm ruined. No more cheap shrimp for me, which is a shame, because cheap shrimp are more affordable.

Maybe it just wasn't as good because Blake wasn't there to have lunch with me?

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