Mom's Air Conditioner

09.02.2002

Usually I make a cute or pun ridden title, but this just strikes me as weird.

Mom has been on a home improvement kick. 2 weeks ago, she got a new roof on the house, and along the way discovered that the old roof, well, sucked. It had acouple of major leaks that were on the verge of ruining rafters. There was also a birds nest inside where they had managed to get through the shingles at an eave and build a nest. This past week, Mr. Air-Conditioning-Man came to tell her why the air conditioning wasn't cooling the house like it should.

The reason was obvious. Freon? New thermostat? Really expensive part? Nyah. At some point, a mouse (the nasty kind that invades a home, not the cute Warner Brothers kind) made its way into the air conditioner and started chewing. It chewed far enough that it hit current and YOWZA!, no more mouse. What the mouse managed to do was die along (and short out) a strip that tells the air conditioner to turn on the heat, so whenever the air conditioner was on, the heat was on. Kind of seems self-contradictory, doesn't it? Now Mom should be able to reach the sub-zero temperatures that the air conditioner should provide.

Tangent #1: Totally unrelated to Mom's air conditioner, and probably moot since she may never know I'm posting this, happy birthday to Mrs. Jer. 29. If this was the world of Logan's Run, she would be on the verge of running for her life!

Tangent #2: Totally unrelated to Mom's air conditioner and E's birthday, welcome back to the Central timezone to Kitty Perriwinkle, future webcam star (it's not her real name, it's her webcam star name...). Stay away from California and practice taking showers while not looking at the hidden camera.

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Drive Thru Fun

08.28.2002

I've gotten to where I actually go to the drive through more often than not these days. This is despite the old addage I learned from Lethal Weapon 2: "They fuck you in the drive thru". In my drive thru adventures, I've gotten to where I pay attention to my fellow drivers thru and their subtle nuances.

What's the correct way to place your order? Most of the time, I hear other drivers speak into the little box with "I need....". Do they really need a burger so bad? It's even better when each item is preceeded by the "I need".

"I need a cheeseburger. I need a french fry. Oh, and I need a large Coke." Great. Pull up to the first window.

The drive-thru "Needers" are closely followed by the "Gimma a" people. You know, "Gimma a cheeseburger and fries. And gimme a Coke." They just don't want it, that want you to give it to them, no matter what.

The next fun part is how people are when they reach the window to pay. May favorites are the ones who pull up, money in hand, and stick their arm out of the window. It doesn't matter if anyone is around to take their money or not, that arm will just hang out there with the money all day long if neccessary. This is a close relation to my favorite drive thru worker: the one who sticks out their arm to take your money, but isn't paying attention and has no idea if you're holding out your money or not.

Just for the record, I'm a "I'd like a..." with a "hold out your hand and I'll give you some money" driver-thru.

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Excuse To Buy More Action Figures

08.26.2002

I came across this link the other day for an artist that takes pictures of toys (mainly dolls and figurines). He's artistic and does the fuzzy lens effect and everything. The part that gets me, though, is that he has shows in art galleries. Art Galleries! Do Camtoons show up in art galleries? Nooooo.

Maybe it's time to whip up a few art gallery ready Camtoons....

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My Thai

08.23.2002

For the first time last night, I venterued to a new personal culinary frontier and tried Thai food. I had always assumed that it would be Chinese food, but spicier. Except for a difference in rice (the Thai rice was some mutated, super-starched, cutable mass of ricey goodness), it could best be described as "Chinese, but spicier".

Odds are I'll be having Thai a lot sooner than I'll be going back to the Hard Rock Cafe.

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Kelly's Muffin

08.20.2002

Last names have been ommitted, mainly for my protection. The following really happened, but some events may have been abridged, because the longer version is kind of boring.

Friday, Kelly and I were having our usual morning talk. She's sweet and innocent, but she lets me be me sometimes. She had brought for breakfast a chocolate chip muffin. These are the highpoints of our converstation:
K: Russell, do you want some of my muffin?
R: Oh yeah.
K: You know what I mean.
R: What kind do you have?
K: Chocolate chip. (hands muffin to me)
R: (Looking at muffin through packaging) Ewww, your muffin looks kind of gooey. (starts thumping muffin with finger).
K: What are you doing?
R: Poking your muffing.
K: You quit that! (takes back muffin). If you don't want any I'm just going to save it until Monday. (opens desk drawer)
R: What are you doing?
K: Putting my muffin in the drawer and saving it until Monday.
R: So if I want your muffin I've got to get in your drawers to get it?
K: (glaring) Yes.

Fast forward about an hour, where I've discovereda stash of Tootsie Rolls and have taken one. I go to Kelly's desk, open the drawer, and set a Tootsie Roll inside.

K: Awww, you brough me candy.
R: I've done more than that.
K: What do you mean?
R: Where did I put it?
K: In my drawer.
R: Yeah, go on.
K: Next to my muffin.
R: And what was it I brought?
K: A Tootsie Roll.
R: Which means....
K:(waiting for it....)
R: I put my tootsie roll in your drawers next to your muffin. (running away quickly, well, quickly for me)

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